Pool Modesty (Part 1): He thinks....she thinks...

Discussions and debates about pool modesty surface every summer.  Many Christian parents, youth ministers and even teen boys are frustrated that the culture has established such skimpy swimwear as the norm for female pool fashion. Many bikinis are less modest than underwear. Some one-piece swimsuits are just as revealing as bikinis with dramatic cut-outs, low necklines, and high cuts around the hips. Guys also face modesty conerns of their own as they don regulation jockey style swimsuits for swim team. While these suits reduce friction in the water, some boys admit feeling embarrassed and quickly pull on shorts whenever they finish their laps.

By Rufino Uribe via Wikimedia Commons

If skimpy swimwear is the social standard in America, why are people so upset over it?   If America is a land of freedom and personal liberty, standing as the antithesis of those countries requiring women to wear burkas, why should it matter what people wear at the pool? Are Christians concerned only about the outward attire, or is the fundamental problem a heart matter?

This series of blog posts on pool modesty will address the following concerns:

• How does a woman’s immodest dress affect guys?
• Why should Christian women concern themselves with this issue if it is a man’s problem?
• Why do women wear skimpy swimsuits?
• What Biblical principles relate to pool modesty?
• What are some helpful tips for parents as they address this issue with their children?
• What attractive yet modest swimwear alternatives are available?
• What books or other resources offer additional guidance on this issue?

Dictionary.com defines “modesty” as “freedom from vanity or boastfulness”, “decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.”, and “simplicity or moderation”. One Christian mom referenced the following quote from an unknown author when attempting to define modesty.

“If what you wear draws attention to your face and thereby is a way to point others to Christ through your spirit, then you are modest. If, however, how you dress draws attention to your body and away from your face, then that is not modesty."

Men are extremely visual by nature. When a guy sees a woman dressed in revealing swimwear, he does not typically or readily focus on her face. For some guys, it takes a skimpy bikini to get him focused on her body. For other guys, a tankini is enough to send his thoughts away from her face. College pastor, Sammy Adebiyi, wrote an impassioned and blunt plea to women to dress modestly and to stop posting bikini pictures on Facebook in his piece entitled Bikinis, Soft Porn, Masturbation & Facebook. He explains that a man tends to view a scantily clad woman as a “piece of meat”. When a man is focused on a woman's body, he does not think about her person. Many Christian men struggle to look away and keep their thoughts pure when surrounded by bikinis at the pool. One local teen asked his mother, “Why do girls have so little respect for the boys at the pool?” Another young guy nearby implored his parents not to get a pool membership this year. He would rather give up swimming than be surrounded by temptation.

Lisa Bloom, author of the secular book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, is alarmed by the effect that society’s emphasis on physical beauty is having on the female mind and on her role in society. She describes ways to gradually shift this focus away from the body to the mind in her article, How to Talk to Little Girls. By drawing attention to their physical bodies, girls are inadvertently dehumanizing themselves. Inanimate things are pretty and delightful to the senses. All living animals are sexual in some form or fashion. But only a human being possesses a logical mind, dynamic emotions and an eternal soul.

Most teen girls dress immodestly at the pool simply because it is the social norm without considering how their attire could be serving to devalue them in the eyes of men. Wearing a bikini will certainly draw a guy’s attention, but it is usually not the type of attention that girls desire. Girls want to be cherished and loved, but guys may perceive a girl's immodest dress as an invitation to misuse her body in their minds or through physical touch without any regard for her heart, spirit or mind.

Many girls, regardless of their degree of perceived physical beauty, feel self-conscious while wearing a bikini. However, as they see others around them, including Christians and mature women, dressed in skimpy attire, the initial discomfort eases as their hearts grow accustomed to that style of dress, just as watching violent or profane movies repeatedly will numb the mind and heart to shocking material in the future.

Some women choose less modest clothing because they have gone to great lengths to achieve an attractive toned body, and they are eager to show off their achievements to everyone else. These women feel like their efforts deserve to be rewarded with admiration from others. Instead of inspiring admiration, however, their public display often just makes other women jealous while causing men to stumble into lustful thoughts.

1 Corinthians 15: 12-13 teaches that Christians have no right to judge unbelievers, and they must be careful not to argue over disputable matters. God does not judge His people by their outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7), so choice of swimwear is not a salvation issue. Many young women simply do not understand how their attire could impact the spiritual battles facing men. Others recognize that each guy has his own unique set of issues, so living in such a way as to never make someone stumble seems impossible. Should women even consider how their clothing choices affect men?

Part 2 of this series explores that question from a Biblical perspective.

This series was originally published by Examiner.com and is being republished with permission.