The good, bad, and ugly of the #metoo movement and what would be better

I have wrestled with the #metoo movement. I understand the need for it, though practically speaking, I should never have had any experience to inform such an understanding.  I have never had more than a sip of any alcoholic beverage, and I have never attended a frat party. I carry mace, know some self-defense, lift weights regularly, and avoid locations and situations in which I could end up alone, especially at night, with any man other than my husband or father. I have tried to consistently dress, speak, move, and act both professionally and modestly. Some assumed I was wise in my attempts to avoid becoming a victim of sexual assault, but the truth is that I was still too naive. Most would say it's just wrong that women have to go to such great lengths to avoid bad things happening to them. Despite all my protective defenses, I still found myself in scary situations even with friends nearby and/or parents in the same house. My male supervisors and directors at the company where I had my first out-of-state summer internship required the interns to attend happy hour after work. After watching how some behaved toward me after a few drinks, I refused to go back, knowing I would not receive a permanent job offer if I refused any of the planned social functions for the interns. That was an easy choice because I didn't want to work for that Fortune 500 company ever again after that experience. So many women don't have such an easy choice or a way out. Many don't escape and suffer the consequences for the rest of their lives.

I have been treated differently and inappropriately when I worked as an engineer in factories and headquarters before quotas and EEO laws ensured that more women had a presence in previously male dominated fields. I chose not to view it as unfair, but rather as a challenge to overcome with excellence. It stretched me and made me better.

I share all this to say that I understand that sexism still exists as does the "boys will be boys" line of thinking.  It's not fair that women have to work so hard to protect themselves from unwanted advances or remarks.  If a few men could still find opportunities to treat me disrespectfully (but thankfully never getting too far with me because I stayed sober, fought back, and received an extra measure of God's undeserved grace during those times) despite my clean lifestyle and so many efforts to prevent it, then I'm guessing there aren't many women out there who do not have a #metoo story of some kind, even if it isn't as horrible as violent assault or rape.

So, yes, I believe women need to be heard and that they need the confidence to tell their stories.

But I also see the #metoo movement as having the potential to be extremely harmful and as offering no solutions to the root problem.  When #metoo pits women against all men, it only exasperates the problem. When it is used to create a circus like we saw with the Kavanaugh hearings, then it breeds doubt about the validity of women's stories. None of the accusations against Kavanaugh were true. The evidence indicates that it was a carefully timed, well funded, political hit job and a bad case of crying wolf. When the #metoo movement is manipulated for political attacks, it makes people more skeptical of women's stories which then makes victims more reluctant to report the crimes against them or even to share with others who can help them.

The #metoo movement is also ineffective and only compounds the problem when it fails to address the root problem, which is largely a result of the culture attempting to deny the obvious differences and overturn the natural roles of men and women while also completely redefining sex itself. Men were designed by God to protect, provide, and unconditionally love women. Research studies over the decades and even recent polls conducted by progressive news outlets continue to affirm what God said in His word. Women still want a "knight in shining armor" who is a strong, courageous defender. Good women want to marry good guys who are responsible, noble and kind.  In turn, women are nurturers, each gifted in unique ways to impact their families and communities for good. Women can be world changers just as much as men can, and they have equal value,, but they are not and never will be the same as men. Women were created to complement and respect men, who in turn should be respectable and love like Christ loves the church. When men and women value their differences instead of being brain-washed by the culture to hate each another, then they will treat each other with respect and dignity, thereby minimizing assault incidents.  When men and women are satisfied in committed relationships, they don't go looking for their perverted definition of sex in all the wrong places or take what is not freely given.  When men are told they are dogs, they tend to act like dogs.  When men are respected and have good role models, they are much more likely to act respectably.

Sex is a good gift given to married couples for procreation, for intimacy / binding the two close together emotionally, physically, and spiritually, for our enjoyment, and for God's glory, but all good gifts come with certain responsibilities and guidelines for our protection. Sex can only achieve it's purpose inside the marriage covenant between one consenting man and one consenting woman, and both couples should be loving and respecting each other as necessary for a healthy, happy marriage. Our fallen culture has tried to completely redefine sex just as it has tried to redefine marriage. In so doing, it took that which is sacred and tried to make it merely carnal without conditions, limits, or restraints.  The result has been exactly what you would expect when you take a warm, soothing, light emitting fire out of the hearth where it belongs and put it in the middle of the living room. It burns the whole house down along with everything in it and then spreads as far as it can reach until someone restrains it. Some can pretend that sex has no relational, spiritual or emotional value, but that doesn't remove the real consequences, physical, emotional, and spiritual. If we don't acknowledge the fullness of sex and all that it was created to be or the power it has, then we will never understand the full extent of the pain that sexual assault victims experience.

If we are serious about waging war against our rape culture, then we need to get serious about correcting our understanding of the real purpose of sex and develop a great respect for it. We need to start defining and treating it as the sacred gift it was intended to be and put it back in the safe and healthy place it belongs, which is inside the covenant marriage relationship. If we pretend that free, non-committal, premarital sex is no big deal, then we will fail to comprehend the full ramifications of rape and all the hurt it brings.

Instead of waging wars between the sexes, let's learn to appreciate and respect our differences and value the way we complement each other. Let's teach men to embrace their masculinity and to use it to defend the weak and to stand up for goodness, truth, and righteousness. Let's resurrect chivalry and esteem men who cherish, honor, and protect women while taking their responsibility to provide, protect, and lead their family seriously and who do so with diligence.

Men are currently pressured by society to experience sex long before they are expected to become emotionally mature. Men are taught to make babies before they are responsible enough to become fathers. Sex doesn't make a boy into man, but it will turn a boy into a fool or a pig. If we want boys to stop pressuring girls for sex, then let's start pressuring boys instead to become godly men with integrity, discipline, valor, and respect for others.  Let's inspire them to become men who are worthy of a virtuous woman's hand in marriage.

Let's wage war on pornography. Pornography is the most profitable industry in the world, yet it does more damage to every society it touches and is the primary fuel for virtually all sex crimes. Let's make pornography illegal with penalties as severe as rape or sex trafficking while offering counseling, love, and dignified employment to the women enslaved in it. Let's also provide caring counseling to the men who want to be set free from the addiction. I highly recommend Desert Stream Living Waters for those dealing with any type of sex addiction, same sex attraction, or gender role confusion.

Let's teach women that they are loved unconditionally by God and share His love with them through our grace filled interactions with them. Let's teach them the truth about who they are, infinitely valuable and created for a marvelous purpose which God planned for them from the beginning of time. Let's assure women that nothing a man or anyone does to them changes their value, and that they do not deserve any ill treatment from anyone. Let's remove the shame from women who have been assaulted and praise them for sharing. But for the love of every victim who ever walked this earth, STOP using it for political vendettas or to destroy innocent people. This isn't a partisan issue. It affects everyone, and we all need to work together to stop it.  Can we begin by finding some agreement on the fundamental definitions and design for man, woman, and sex?  

Senator Ben Sasse gets it. His comments should speak to the hearts of every man and women of any political persuasion or religious conviction. I highly recommend reading or listing to him.

Read the full transcript here:
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justin-taylor/one-best-speeches-will-ever-hear-senate-floor/

Men vs. Women

Men vs. Women

I'm sure the article entitled, "Are Men Better than Women at Chess? Probably" offended a lot of people.  Pop culture and progressive feminism (not to be confused with classical feminism which accomplished a lot of wonderful, much needed reforms for women) would say that all women should protest, riot, and viciously express their disdain for such a politically incorrect statement.

As a woman who graduated at the top of her class in engineering school and who gets giddy over all things math, logic, and strategy related, I am not the LEAST BIT OFFENDED by this article or it's headline. I thought I would post that here, so Google will have a record of it as they police our thoughts .(This comment is a sarcastic reference to Google's decision to fire someone for writing a brilliant memo with sound reasoning and scientific proof because some snowflakes could not accept the truth and threw temper tantrums about it.  Google caved to their bratty children, just as expected, and fired the man unjustly and illegally while providing yet another example of the liberal hypocrisy of liberal tolerance, when liberals are the most intolerant of all, especially with regard to different viewpoints that are so easily justified whereas their talking points make no sense at all).

I also much prefer having women compete against women athletically and consider it to be sheer insanity to allow transgendered men to compete against women in events created for women only. We are each unique and there are plenty of women who can beat other men in these venues, but in general, when you consider the collective data, men have a biological advantage in both chess and most athletics, and that FACT doesn't discriminate against me or bother me AT ALL. I'm thankful for it because these differences drive the complementary nature of the genders for healthy families and societies in general.

 ¹² Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³ For we were all baptized byone Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. (1 Corinthians 12-13)

There are PLENTY of things women can do better than men and in which they have their own advantage, so when you look at all those differences collectively, it evens out. (Of course, our value has nothing to do with our performance, anyway!) No one is more valuable than another (although the socialistic government gods would like to be the judge of that), but we do need each other

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

Women seeking validation by trying to convince the world that they can do everything a man can do but better have missed the whole point. They will never receive the validation they are seeking that way, but they will wear themselves out trying.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. (Romans 12:3)

Furthermore, by disrespecting the unique gifting of men, women will only cause men to stop doing what they are called and especially equipped to do. That places all the responsibility on women alone, and the U.S. statistics on the number of fatherless homes and the outcomes for children and society as a result provide plenty of alarming evidence of where that leads. Let's learn to celebrate our differences and work together in a complementary way to build synergy for healthy homes and communities.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”   (Genesis 2:18)