I grew up in a family partial to dogs. We always had a dog, but cats were strictly forbidden. I was raised to believe that all cats are sinister, selfish, sassy, and self-righteous, while dogs are loyal defenders and faithful friends. Dogs are ideal companions for strong men and adventurous women, while any man who prefers cats over dogs must be a sissy, I reasoned.
Then I fell in love with a strong, masculine, naval lieutenant who has always preferred and owned cats. He and I agreed before getting married that there would be no cats living in our house. So his cat moved in with his parents, but she still managed to tear a chunk out of our toddler's arm during a Christmas visit years later which only intensified my cat ire.
But then....this past May at a pet day event where I was surrounded by gorgeous dogs, I met a fluffy white Siberian cat with blue eyes and the temperament of a dog whom I could not forget.
I had been selfish. My husband and both of our kids desperately wanted a cat (although the youngest is allergic), and I was denying them their heart's desire. So I confessed and sought to make restitution. With cat fever infecting my brain, I searched the entire country for a white Siberian kitten (like the one that kept appearing in a recurring dream my husband had been having) to give my husband as a Father's Day gift but gave up and ended up giving him a rescued white and gray kitten instead. The way the gray markings on his back form a heart convinced me that I would grow to love him.3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. (Philippians 2:3-4)
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Yet, now that I have a cat in the house, I can see how the trials of cat ownership throughout my husband's premarital days helped mold him into the ideal mate. As the country song goes, "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life," I say, "Let a cat owner make you his wife." Since cats are said to have nine lives, I've listed nine reasons why marrying a cat owner has enriched my life as his wife.
Nine Reasons Why It is Advantageous to Marry a Man who Loves and Owns Cats
- Men who have owned cats are more likely to patiently pursue their wives. Unlike dogs who are consistently loyal and loving by instinct, a cat's affection must be pursued and earned. Cats are moody, sassy, and very unpredictable, yet a cat owner will go to great lengths to get his cat to come near him and purr. Similarly, a cat owning husband will do whatever it takes to make his lady happy. He loves to see her smile or hear her sing. Throughout the animal kingdom we see males pursuing females. Marriages are healthier when the man leads the pursuit and cherishes his wife through all her ups and downs. A cat owner will never fully understand his cat or his wife, but he's okay with that and even delights in the enigma.
- Men who have owned cats APPRECIATE more than they EXPECT. Dogs are creatures of habit, so their owners expect the same behavior from them every day, whereas a cat owner never knows what he will find when he comes home. Thus, a man who owns a cat instead of a dog isn't conditioned to expect his wife to run up to greet him and jump on him when he comes home, nor does he expect her to spend the rest of the evening at his feet or by his side simply adoring him. I'm not saying a wife shouldn't do some of those things, for a healthy marriage demands that a wife respect her husband and that he love her unconditionally (Ephesians 5:33), but when those actions by his wife are appreciated instead of merely expected, the wife experiences more joy in serving him, and the love tanks of both husband and wife are filled.
- Cat owners do not demand an immaculate house. Cat owners must learn to be forgiving when things break and to feel comfortable in an untidy house because cats consistently play in messy, destructive ways. So when a wife needs to spend more time with the kids instead of cleaning, chooses to do a messy project while making lasting memories with the children, or simply needs to take a break for her own mental health, a cat owner will not complain when the house is temporarily neglected.
- Cat owners give amazing back rubs. In their efforts to win the favor of their feline pets, men learn how and where to rub the cat's back and neck to make the cat purr. So when he gets married, he knows how to find all the trigger points or sensitive areas to work out tight muscles, relax his wife's body and mind, and make her feel amazing. Dogs are happy with a pat on the head or a vigorous belly rub, neither of which a woman wants, so dog owners do not have to master the art of gentle, sensitive touch like a cat owner does.
- Cat owners value the importance of proper grooming. If a kitten goes more than a week without a nail clipping and/or filing, life gets ugly. Cat owners especially appreciate the diligence cats use to keep themselves clean and well groomed and often enjoy brushing or combing their cats' fur. A cat owner is more likely to give his wife the time and money required to properly groom herself. (He's also the parent our daughter always chooses to comb out her tangles.) Think manicures, pedicures, salon, and spa days, ladies! :-)
- Cat owners tend to be devoted, loving fathers and effective disciplinarians. Training a cat to stay off counter tops, to stop scratching the leather furniture, to stay away from floral arrangements or breakable china or glassware, to stop chewing on designer rugs, or to stop pulling on the curtains requires consistent, relentless, firm, and loving discipline. A man who has successfully trained a cat to respect his property should be better able to effectively train a child in the way that is good and right. A man who has won the trust of his cat has learned how to be a patient, strong yet gentle, nurturing, and kind father to children.
- Cat owners share bed space well. When our cat decides to sleep on our bed, he gets lots of exercise, attacking every toe that moves or racing across my chest with each deep breath. He constantly change positions and can be very distracting. So, a cat owner grows accustomed to giving up most of the bed and is not the least bit bothered when he wakes up with a foot in his face (the cat's or his wife's).
- Cat owners respect boundaries. Cats are very territorial, so a wise cat owner will learn not to intrude on the cat's boundaries lest lest the cat mark its territory again. So cat owners are more willing to give up most of the closet space once a woman has marked it all as hers. When a wife who tells a cat owner where her boundaries are, he is more likely to stay outside of them.
- Cat owners think his wife's crazy quirks are charming. Cats are exceedingly quirky critters. A cat owner can watch his cat spin around in circles all day long trying to capture it's tail yet find the cat all the more adorable. When a wife finds herself running in circles as she tries to sort through overbooked schedules, extreme emotions, or perceived crises, a cat loving husband will watch with an adoring grin on his face, with amusement instead of frustration.
