The good, bad, and ugly of the #metoo movement and what would be better

I have wrestled with the #metoo movement. I understand the need for it, though practically speaking, I should never have had any experience to inform such an understanding.  I have never had more than a sip of any alcoholic beverage, and I have never attended a frat party. I carry mace, know some self-defense, lift weights regularly, and avoid locations and situations in which I could end up alone, especially at night, with any man other than my husband or father. I have tried to consistently dress, speak, move, and act both professionally and modestly. Some assumed I was wise in my attempts to avoid becoming a victim of sexual assault, but the truth is that I was still too naive. Most would say it's just wrong that women have to go to such great lengths to avoid bad things happening to them. Despite all my protective defenses, I still found myself in scary situations even with friends nearby and/or parents in the same house. My male supervisors and directors at the company where I had my first out-of-state summer internship required the interns to attend happy hour after work. After watching how some behaved toward me after a few drinks, I refused to go back, knowing I would not receive a permanent job offer if I refused any of the planned social functions for the interns. That was an easy choice because I didn't want to work for that Fortune 500 company ever again after that experience. So many women don't have such an easy choice or a way out. Many don't escape and suffer the consequences for the rest of their lives.

I have been treated differently and inappropriately when I worked as an engineer in factories and headquarters before quotas and EEO laws ensured that more women had a presence in previously male dominated fields. I chose not to view it as unfair, but rather as a challenge to overcome with excellence. It stretched me and made me better.

I share all this to say that I understand that sexism still exists as does the "boys will be boys" line of thinking.  It's not fair that women have to work so hard to protect themselves from unwanted advances or remarks.  If a few men could still find opportunities to treat me disrespectfully (but thankfully never getting too far with me because I stayed sober, fought back, and received an extra measure of God's undeserved grace during those times) despite my clean lifestyle and so many efforts to prevent it, then I'm guessing there aren't many women out there who do not have a #metoo story of some kind, even if it isn't as horrible as violent assault or rape.

So, yes, I believe women need to be heard and that they need the confidence to tell their stories.

But I also see the #metoo movement as having the potential to be extremely harmful and as offering no solutions to the root problem.  When #metoo pits women against all men, it only exasperates the problem. When it is used to create a circus like we saw with the Kavanaugh hearings, then it breeds doubt about the validity of women's stories. None of the accusations against Kavanaugh were true. The evidence indicates that it was a carefully timed, well funded, political hit job and a bad case of crying wolf. When the #metoo movement is manipulated for political attacks, it makes people more skeptical of women's stories which then makes victims more reluctant to report the crimes against them or even to share with others who can help them.

The #metoo movement is also ineffective and only compounds the problem when it fails to address the root problem, which is largely a result of the culture attempting to deny the obvious differences and overturn the natural roles of men and women while also completely redefining sex itself. Men were designed by God to protect, provide, and unconditionally love women. Research studies over the decades and even recent polls conducted by progressive news outlets continue to affirm what God said in His word. Women still want a "knight in shining armor" who is a strong, courageous defender. Good women want to marry good guys who are responsible, noble and kind.  In turn, women are nurturers, each gifted in unique ways to impact their families and communities for good. Women can be world changers just as much as men can, and they have equal value,, but they are not and never will be the same as men. Women were created to complement and respect men, who in turn should be respectable and love like Christ loves the church. When men and women value their differences instead of being brain-washed by the culture to hate each another, then they will treat each other with respect and dignity, thereby minimizing assault incidents.  When men and women are satisfied in committed relationships, they don't go looking for their perverted definition of sex in all the wrong places or take what is not freely given.  When men are told they are dogs, they tend to act like dogs.  When men are respected and have good role models, they are much more likely to act respectably.

Sex is a good gift given to married couples for procreation, for intimacy / binding the two close together emotionally, physically, and spiritually, for our enjoyment, and for God's glory, but all good gifts come with certain responsibilities and guidelines for our protection. Sex can only achieve it's purpose inside the marriage covenant between one consenting man and one consenting woman, and both couples should be loving and respecting each other as necessary for a healthy, happy marriage. Our fallen culture has tried to completely redefine sex just as it has tried to redefine marriage. In so doing, it took that which is sacred and tried to make it merely carnal without conditions, limits, or restraints.  The result has been exactly what you would expect when you take a warm, soothing, light emitting fire out of the hearth where it belongs and put it in the middle of the living room. It burns the whole house down along with everything in it and then spreads as far as it can reach until someone restrains it. Some can pretend that sex has no relational, spiritual or emotional value, but that doesn't remove the real consequences, physical, emotional, and spiritual. If we don't acknowledge the fullness of sex and all that it was created to be or the power it has, then we will never understand the full extent of the pain that sexual assault victims experience.

If we are serious about waging war against our rape culture, then we need to get serious about correcting our understanding of the real purpose of sex and develop a great respect for it. We need to start defining and treating it as the sacred gift it was intended to be and put it back in the safe and healthy place it belongs, which is inside the covenant marriage relationship. If we pretend that free, non-committal, premarital sex is no big deal, then we will fail to comprehend the full ramifications of rape and all the hurt it brings.

Instead of waging wars between the sexes, let's learn to appreciate and respect our differences and value the way we complement each other. Let's teach men to embrace their masculinity and to use it to defend the weak and to stand up for goodness, truth, and righteousness. Let's resurrect chivalry and esteem men who cherish, honor, and protect women while taking their responsibility to provide, protect, and lead their family seriously and who do so with diligence.

Men are currently pressured by society to experience sex long before they are expected to become emotionally mature. Men are taught to make babies before they are responsible enough to become fathers. Sex doesn't make a boy into man, but it will turn a boy into a fool or a pig. If we want boys to stop pressuring girls for sex, then let's start pressuring boys instead to become godly men with integrity, discipline, valor, and respect for others.  Let's inspire them to become men who are worthy of a virtuous woman's hand in marriage.

Let's wage war on pornography. Pornography is the most profitable industry in the world, yet it does more damage to every society it touches and is the primary fuel for virtually all sex crimes. Let's make pornography illegal with penalties as severe as rape or sex trafficking while offering counseling, love, and dignified employment to the women enslaved in it. Let's also provide caring counseling to the men who want to be set free from the addiction. I highly recommend Desert Stream Living Waters for those dealing with any type of sex addiction, same sex attraction, or gender role confusion.

Let's teach women that they are loved unconditionally by God and share His love with them through our grace filled interactions with them. Let's teach them the truth about who they are, infinitely valuable and created for a marvelous purpose which God planned for them from the beginning of time. Let's assure women that nothing a man or anyone does to them changes their value, and that they do not deserve any ill treatment from anyone. Let's remove the shame from women who have been assaulted and praise them for sharing. But for the love of every victim who ever walked this earth, STOP using it for political vendettas or to destroy innocent people. This isn't a partisan issue. It affects everyone, and we all need to work together to stop it.  Can we begin by finding some agreement on the fundamental definitions and design for man, woman, and sex?  

Senator Ben Sasse gets it. His comments should speak to the hearts of every man and women of any political persuasion or religious conviction. I highly recommend reading or listing to him.

Read the full transcript here:
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justin-taylor/one-best-speeches-will-ever-hear-senate-floor/

Love and Respect, Not Love or Respect

We talk a lot in Christian circles about husbands loving their wives and wives respecting their husbands, but it seems our culture has turned those two concepts into an either/or proposition instead of both/and. How can anyone truly love a woman without first respecting her? Anything called love that does not also include respect is usually either lust or pity, depending upon context, but it certainly isn't love.

[We could split hairs over the unconditional love of God for mankind. God is worthy of infinite respect, honor and praise while we, in relation to Him, deserve nothing but death. But I am referring here to men and women respecting each other as a way of respecting Father God who made each of us according to His perfect design.]

I appreciate that people are recognizing that girls who receive the love they need at home are not as likely to go looking for love in all the wrong places, but are we teaching our girls by word and example that they are worthy not only of affection but of respect? Are we training them to first respect themselves as uniquely designed, infinitely valuable, sacred human beings, created in the image of God for His perfect plans and purposes? Do they expect others to show them mutual respect, or are they only seeking any kind of attention that makes them feel loved temporarily? Are we teaching them that how they dress, how they speak, and how they behave can either command respect or repel it? Are we showing them the great value of their dignity, virtue, talents, intellect, and eternal soul, or are we teaching them that their outward bodies are what matter most and that they should use their bodies to draw unholy attention or to gain some sort of twisted notion of power over men?

Maybe I'm out of line here and I would welcome comments and correction, but it just seems to me that a little more respect would go a long way in making this world a safer and healthier place.

Disclaimers

• We must be careful not to associate respect with position. With the fall of man, women began desiring the man's position of authority instead of accepting the equally valuable though uniquely different role appointed to her for the healthy functioning of the family. When we desire respect, let it not be out of a desire for position, authority, or power, but simply out of appreciation for the wonderful way God made each of us.
• I oppose all of the harmful nonsense that the progressive feminist movement is advocating which only serves to demean men, devalue women, and destroy both the family and society. This post has nothing to do with that movement whatsoever. Respect is never earned through quotas or coercion or by belittling men. Respect begins from within.

The Vanity and Irony of Progressive "Feminism"

I find it ironic that progressives claim to be pro-woman, yet they continue to so cruelly abuse some of the strongest, most respectable and influential women in our nation, simply because they work for Donald Trump. Few could withstand the daily harassment and vindictive commentary aimed at Sarah Sanders, who sat quietly throughout the White House Correspondents' dinner whiles the news outlets' paid comedian viciously belittled her for her outward appearance (something a misogynist would do) while failing to notice her impeccable character through it all. Sanders could have brilliantly defended herself, launching sly verbal punches that put them all in their place. Instead, she chose the high road and committed to pray for them.

“But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)

When vindictive mobs attacked Sanders at a restaurant while she was trying to enjoy a dinner with her in-laws (who are registered Democrats), she left without retaliation.  She hoped by missing out, her family could eat in peace, but the mob still followed them while volleying continued insults.

A progressive mob at a Mexican restaurant acted like wild animals in an effort to shame Kirstjen Nielsen over misinformation spread by the corrupt media, ruining a rare evening out with her husband. Yet, Nielsen exercised self-control, refusing to return evil for evil.

Nikki Haley has boldly confronted the entire United Nations when repeatedly when delegates have ganged up against her. She refused to back down, no matter how many threats they made and without fear of the powerful ties to terrorists they may have. Other nations who may not have had the courage to stand alone as she did, but they have followed America's lead. Recognizing Jerusalem as Israel's capitol is just one example.  Unlike Clinton and Kerry, she isn’t trading our national security for cash, caving to their pressure, or inventing fake theories to line her own pockets. She is an unstoppable force, driven by American patriotism and love of virtue.

Kellyanne Conway has also exhibited this same level of integrity and tough-mindedness displayed by these other women in Trump’s administration. Such strength, courage, and integrity should make every woman proud, yet progressive feminists hate these conservative women with a vengeance, for progressive feminists are not pro-woman at all. They are loyal only to their political cult, throwing any woman under the bus who does not support their socialistic, oppressive, misguided agenda.

Progressives call Trump a misogynist and a sexist. These terms describe someone who despises, dislikes, disrespects and discriminates against someone based on gender. Even with all of Trump’s past immoral conduct toward women, at least during his tenure as POTUS, he has shown far more respect for women than the progressive feminists who continuously attack him and the courageous women he has chosen.  

He has appointed more women into higher government positions than any POTUS before him. He hasn’t appointed them simply because they are women, so he can check a box to curry favor with voters, as did his predecessor. He appointed them because they are extremely qualified for their respective roles. Kellyanne Conway turned his campaign around delivering a surprising victory. She was the first woman to achieve that milestone. Sarah Sanders may very well be the most gifted press secretary in U.S. history, handling the most ferocious attacks on the president with sound reasoning, calm composure, and skillful rhetoric. Kirstjen Nielsen is holding up well under unprecedented pressure which includes threats of bodily harm and extreme verbal abuse. Nikki Haley's work with the UN is so unprecedented many predict she will become America's first female president.

It is uncharacteristic of a misogynists or a sexist to appoint such strong and accomplished women. If a misogynist were to appoint any woman at all, he would choose a weak woman who would make him look strong in comparison. He would choose women he could easily control. That’s what insecure, weak bullies do, after all, from the kindergarten playground to the White House.  Bullies surround themselves with weak, incompetent people and attack those whom they fear may overshadow them.

Progressives are especially irritated by these conservative women because they aren’t suffering or caving to their harsh criticisms or public abuse. Each arrow progressives shoot at these women has a boomerang effect. Just as fire refines gold and hardens clay, the progressive attacks only make these women stronger. None of this persecution can shake these women, nor can they break any devoted Christian for a crucial reason that secular progressives cannot understand.

Strong Christian women aren’t defined by the opinions or criticisms of others. They never give anyone else that power over them. Their identity and worth are secure in Christ, who treasures them infinitely, having paid the ultimate price for them. And unlike the fickle opinions of others, His love and His truth never ever change. Their lives have eternal significance and great purpose, and they are faithful to their calling. True believers need not fear nor be  dismayed because the Lord is their God. They know He will strengthen and help them by His righteous hand. (Isaiah 41:10). They know He will never leave or forsake them. (Deuteronomy 31:6) They confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)  Their power comes from an infinite source, so no one can vanquish it or crush their spirits.

They build their lives on the rock, not on shifting sand. Thus, when the storms come, they continue standing tall and secure like a lighthouse giving truth and light to warn and to save the lost. (Matthew 7:24-25)

Godly women are responsible and wise stewards of all God has entrusted into their care. They do not rely on the government for all their needs.  Anyone may need some assistance from time to time, but conservatives do not take advantage of the system. Christian conservatives trust in God who provides and equips His people with everything good that they may need do His will, working in them that which is pleasing in His sight through Christ for His glory. (Hebrews 13:21) Faithful conservative Christian women do not force other people to fund their birth control or make taxpayers pay their preborn baby assassins (aka Planned Parenthood). They take responsibility for themselves and exercise self-control. They are wise enough to avoid an unplanned pregnancy whenever possible. They refuse to let others convince them that they are to too weak to either place a child for adoption or to nurture, protect, provide, and parent anther sacred human life. 

Women of God are free from others' control. They don't let oppressors make decisions for them. They seek truth and wisdom from God so they can make right choices on their own, without allowing the whims of others to enslave them.

Godly women do not tear down others to make themselves look better. Women aren’t lifted up when men are torn town. Women aren’t given value by pretending they are the same as men. Their value is intrinsic and comes from God, but their greatness is most evident when their unique differences are celebrated and both men and women exercise their different qualities in complementary, synergistic ways to build up the community as a whole.

Women don’t earn respect when quotas and EEO laws give them untouchable status in jobs they are unqualified or unwilling to perform well but receive simply because of their gender. Women grow in  self-respect as they achieve without handouts or free passes. Women who respect themselves and clothe themselves with dignity are more likely to gain the respect of others and be treated likewise.

If we want to elevate and esteem women in our culture, let us lift up as role models strong, confident, courageous, women of faith who demonstrate true integrity, service, humility, self-discipline, and respect toward others and themselves. Let's provide them with equal opportunity instead of guaranteeing unmerited equal outcomes to the detriment or our entire society.

Those who refuse to lift others up or who ruthlessly tear down those who intimidate them actually expose the true greatness in those they attack while revealing their own immature, insecure, selfish hearts. Let us leave the childish bullying days behind us and begin strengthening one another, nurturing faithfulness, encouraging personal responsibility, respecting human dignity, and showing mutual respect.

But to those who insist on continuing the bullying, name calling, and childish ways, know that it's all in vain. Your lies and your insults will never to stick to those who are His.  

Two Different Marches

Two different groups of people held marches this weekend. The March for Life was held on Friday, and the Women's March took place on Saturday.

The theme of the the first march was "love saves lives." The theme or motivating force behind the other was hate.

The first celebrated life; the second celebrated the right to kill one's own children with continued insistence that taxpayers pay for the dismemberment, no matter how much their religious and moral convictions may oppose the shedding of innocent blood.

The first march unified; the second march divided.

One sang hymns of praise; the other sang obscenities.

One group humbled themselves in prayer to God. The other group blasphemed His holy name.

One group marched selflessly for those who have no voice, deriving no personal benefit whatsoever. The other demanded free stuff (sanitary napkins, birth control, abortion, special entitlements, salary increases based on gender instead of merit, etc.) for themselves.

One group clothed themselves in pink hats resembling the female anatomy which should be kept private. The other group clothed themselves with "compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience".

One group accepted everyone who valued love and life. The other only accepted those who hate what progressives hate.

One group has steadily grown in numbers for the past 45 years. The other had approximately 50% fewer participants this year than they had the first year, which was just last year.

One inspired hope; the other stirred up bitterness.

One group represented me, both as a woman and as the product of an unplanned pregnancy. The other is the antithesis of all that I am and was created to be.

Men vs. Women

Men vs. Women

I'm sure the article entitled, "Are Men Better than Women at Chess? Probably" offended a lot of people.  Pop culture and progressive feminism (not to be confused with classical feminism which accomplished a lot of wonderful, much needed reforms for women) would say that all women should protest, riot, and viciously express their disdain for such a politically incorrect statement.

As a woman who graduated at the top of her class in engineering school and who gets giddy over all things math, logic, and strategy related, I am not the LEAST BIT OFFENDED by this article or it's headline. I thought I would post that here, so Google will have a record of it as they police our thoughts .(This comment is a sarcastic reference to Google's decision to fire someone for writing a brilliant memo with sound reasoning and scientific proof because some snowflakes could not accept the truth and threw temper tantrums about it.  Google caved to their bratty children, just as expected, and fired the man unjustly and illegally while providing yet another example of the liberal hypocrisy of liberal tolerance, when liberals are the most intolerant of all, especially with regard to different viewpoints that are so easily justified whereas their talking points make no sense at all).

I also much prefer having women compete against women athletically and consider it to be sheer insanity to allow transgendered men to compete against women in events created for women only. We are each unique and there are plenty of women who can beat other men in these venues, but in general, when you consider the collective data, men have a biological advantage in both chess and most athletics, and that FACT doesn't discriminate against me or bother me AT ALL. I'm thankful for it because these differences drive the complementary nature of the genders for healthy families and societies in general.

 ¹² Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. ¹³ For we were all baptized byone Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. (1 Corinthians 12-13)

There are PLENTY of things women can do better than men and in which they have their own advantage, so when you look at all those differences collectively, it evens out. (Of course, our value has nothing to do with our performance, anyway!) No one is more valuable than another (although the socialistic government gods would like to be the judge of that), but we do need each other

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)

Women seeking validation by trying to convince the world that they can do everything a man can do but better have missed the whole point. They will never receive the validation they are seeking that way, but they will wear themselves out trying.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. (Romans 12:3)

Furthermore, by disrespecting the unique gifting of men, women will only cause men to stop doing what they are called and especially equipped to do. That places all the responsibility on women alone, and the U.S. statistics on the number of fatherless homes and the outcomes for children and society as a result provide plenty of alarming evidence of where that leads. Let's learn to celebrate our differences and work together in a complementary way to build synergy for healthy homes and communities.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”   (Genesis 2:18)

To the Empathetic Pro-Choice Men

Since I should treat men and women equally, and I've already addressed pro-choice women enough with my opinions and God's word, I'd like to address the pro-choice men. Specifically I want to address the men who support abortion on demand (and federal funding of it) because they claim they do not know what it feels like to be a woman and thus cannot tell women what to do. I truly appreciate your desire to be empathetic instead of domineering, but there are many who would consider your defense a cowardly one.  Do you support a terrorist's choice to slaughter children with machetes because you do not know what it feels like to be indoctrinated by radical Islam? Moral relativism is a farce. Killing children for personal convenience or by order from ISIS is wrong, and you know it. You just won't risk being politically incorrect or offending someone to stand up for what is right.

Abortion may remove what you see on the outside as a consequence of irresponsible choices (whether consensual or not), but it does not remove the consequence. If you think you can partake in risky behaviors because she can always just get rid of "it", then you will keep playing with fire, while continuing further in your degradation of women. Abortion takes a human life and leaves lasting physical and emotional scars that you may not see but which are far worse than any pregnancy and delivery could be. Consequences can be very good teachers and can provide a dramatic improvement in the treatment of women....if only men would stop covering up those consequences and allow themselves to truly SEE them.

If you truly want to be empathetic and supportive of women while fighting for their rights and opposing violence against women, here are a few practical ideas:

• Don't get women in crisis pregnancy situations in the first place. Take responsibility for your own actions and treat women with respect. When you mess up, don't run and hide from the problem you created. Support her. Do not ever force her to get an abortion.

• Do not be impressed by "locker room talk". If another guy brags of his conquest over a woman, rebuke him. Be a righteous example, and call the men in your realm of influence to a higher standard. 

• Support women in abusive or crisis pregnancy situations. Honor them. Pray for them. Provide for them. Bring them to Christ-centered ministries where they will be loved and cared for unconditionally while getting all their needs (physical and emotional) met in a way that is honest and pure.

• Stop using pornography and join the fight against it. Pornography is the largest industry in the world and the greatest contributor to both objectification of women and physical crimes against them. Rape, violence, and human trafficking are almost always rooted in an addiction to porn.

• Support local crisis pregnancy centers, faith based maternity homes, and homes for battered women with your money and/or time and skills. Handyman work is always needed as are board members, fundraising directors, counselors, mentors for men involved, prenatal care providers, sonogram techs, life skills trainers, house parents, etc.

• Contact your elected officials and demand that they support legislation that values all human life, male and female, from the womb to the tomb.

• Foster and/or adopt.

• Volunteer as a Guardian ad Litem.

To the men who are already doing any of these suggestions or who support women in other life affirming ways, I salute you. As one born the same year as the Roe V. Wade decision as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. I thank you.  I hope our nation's children are learning what true, compassionate and courageous manhood looks like by watching you.

11 Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
12 If you say, “But we knew nothing about this,”
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?  (Proverbs 24:11-12, NIV)

Planned Parenthood is the Biggest Abuser of Women and Children

I wept (rare for me) when this dear woman, Norma McCorvey (aka "Jane Roe") came to one of our Bible study meetings and shared her testimony, which included not only her involvement in the Roe v. Wade case but also the way Jesus transformed her heart and life.  She has been fighting against abortion ever since. (Read her 2015 court testimony here.)

Young, alone, homeless, addicted to drugs, and having no true understanding of what abortion is or does to a human life, she came to the attorneys in this case for help. Instead, they deceived and manipulated her into serving their own purposes.

In the same manner, desperate women come to abortion centers looking for guidance, hope, and positive solutions, but instead they are told the same lies Norma heard and given no other options, no support, and no hope. The abortion workers are more than happy to take their money, though. These women are treated as pawns in the abortion industry's profitable game. 




While there are certainly plenty of individual cases of horrific abuse against women by men, and I'm all for eliminating all forms of violence against women and trafficking of women (eradicating porn is the first place to start), U.S. laws provide much greater privileges and protections to women than to men. It is not so much a system problem as it is a lack of common morality and mutual respect by both genders. In many cases, women are merely victims of their own choices.   (For example, if you choose to get a Ph.D. in women's studies, and an equally gifted male gets an M.D. in orthopedic medicine, the guy will make more money. Of, if you choose to wear a vagina body suit, both men and women will look at what is wrapped around your body without noticing your face or brain at first glance, and it will totally be your own fault. If feminists continually berate, demean, emasculate, and dehumanize men as is so common on sitcoms I hear, then they should not be surprised when men leave them or start acting like jerks or as someone less than human.)

Norma McCorvey, and all the vulnerable women like her who visit Planned Parenthood centers around the world, and the children they carry in their wombs are legitimate victims, and Planned Parenthood is their abuser. So as a woman who values the rights and lives of all women, I will speak out against Planned Parenthood and celebrate when our government redirects funding away from PPF to legitimate public women's health providers. I will continue to give of my time and money to pregnancy life care centers and to the Christian maternity homes where women receive authentic love, valuable support, comprehensive education, effective counseling, material provisions, and lots of hope and encouragement without taking a penny from these women in crisis.

Learn more about Norma McCorvey and read seven powerful quotes by her here.

Love Women with Living Water

I know I've spoken enough about the women's march this weekend, but I want to throw off all sarcasm and seriously and lovingly consider those women whose participation in pro-choice, anti-men, feminist activism comes from a deep, wounded place where they have been woefully mistreated by others. Perhaps they grew up in a broken home where a father was absent, abusive or neglectful. Maybe they have been betrayed, dishonored, abandoned, assaulted, violated, or mistreated in other ways by a husband, family member, "friend", neighbor, or stranger. Maybe these women are hurting because they are childless (whether by infertility, lack of a lifetime partner, or by choice), and those around them value children so much that they feel shunned or isolated by the giddy "quiverfull" advocates. Maybe they are suffering through an unhappy marriage where each partner's understanding of gender roles is skewed or conflicting. Whatever the case, they are hurting and may feel rejected by any culture that deeply values traditional marriage and children.

God loves marriage, children, and family, but He also loves and esteems single women, childless women, mistreated women, and all other women. The scriptures speak much of God being our Father and Christ our Bridegroom, so we know this issue is tender to Him and that He wants so much to fill those roles for all of us, but especially for those who do not have earthly fathers or husbands. God loves women who have been burned by men or by society in general, so anyone who claims to follow Christ should love them too. Therefore, I want to apologize to all who have been hurt or offended when I have spoken without thinking, out of shock instead of from sincere empathy.

I do not want hurting women to suffer another moment longer.  I want them to be healed. The problem is that we each see love, life, and healing from different viewpoints. I am convinced that excessive protections/privileges, free birth control, free abortion at any stage for any reason, free tampons, harsher sentences on rapists, stripping away even more rights from men, impeaching Trump, or whatever else it is that your group wants will not satisfy.   Too often, wounded people wound back and the cycle continues, escalating out of control.  Bitterness and joy cannot ever coexist.  Revenge or harsh reparations on either side of the issues will not satisfy an angry heart.  Only God's love and grace can do that.   

My prayer is that each woman who has been wounded by a man but still has a God given desire for a healthy marriage would come to know the pure delight of a covenant marriage relationship with a godly man who cherishes and honors her with full appreciation of her infinite value while respecting her freedom and independence. However, these good guys are often scared away by radical feminists who demonize them, or they will listen to the rhetoric (or the emasculation and degradation of men in terms of integrity, intellect, courage, and competence so common across entertainment media) and change into someone weak, passive, irresponsible, incompetent, and unwilling to meet these women's needs or to stay committed to a marriage or a family. May the vicious cycle of assumptions, attacks, and apathy finally cease.  May women build men up and give them the respect they need to become the men they were created to be.  May the two genders be brought together in a way that is complementary and beneficial for both of them and for society overall as God intended from the beginning.

If God's desire for these women is to stay single or childless, then I want to celebrate with them in that divine calling, for the apostle Paul reminds us all that in many ways it is better to stay single so you are not distracted and completely exhausted by the obligations of a husband and children.  (1 Corinthians 7) The mentors in my life who have made the greatest impact have typically been either single or childless. Despite deep wounds of the past, healing, peace, love, and joy can be found through Christ and His wonderful, important purposes for each of our lives.

The church needs to do a better job of celebrating all people without judgments based on marital status, number of children, social status, or any other label, for every human being was created in the image of God for unique and wonderful purposes.

I love the model Jesus gives us in the way He treated the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4). In that culture, no man would dare speak to a Samaritan and certainly not to a Samaritan WOMAN, for the racism and sexism then was far greater than what we've seen in our lives here in America. This woman was considered immoral because she had had five husbands (we can only assume they each abandoned or divorced her) and was currently cohabitating, so not even the most immoral Jewish man would associate with her. But Jesus, a Jewish man who happened to be the greatest teacher of his day, perfectly sinless, and the long awaited Messiah, the Son of God, reached out to her in love. He met her where she was in her fallen, hurting condition on her native Samaritan soil and did not condemn her, but He also did not excuse her sin or the sins of the men who had mistreated her. He did not love her by redefining marriage to include as many husbands as she had had or by degrading the value of the family or of children so she would fit in better. He didn't even demand that she change her lifestyle (for that's a work only He can do for her). He loved her by simply offering her Himself, the living water that will satisfy her forever.

People of God, I suspect I'm not the only one who needs to repent of self-righteousness or of a sarcastic tone when speaking of the liberal feminists who truly are victims.  My the Lord soften my heart and continually help me to love unconditionally as He loves, with pure motives, not by compromising God's absolute truths, but by humbly offering them Jesus who saved, remade, and wholly satisfies each and every believer.

I cannot end without putting in a plug for an amazing support group that genuinely and effectively loves as Jesus loves. It is appropriately called Living Waters. Everyone I know who has been through this program has found healing, forgiveness of past hurts, freedom from past addictions and strongholds, freedom from same sex attraction if that was their desire, release from the pull of pornography, restored relationships, and a healthy, right, and good understanding of their roles as men and women.

Find out more and locate a group near you here:
http://desertstream.org/living-waters/

Here's to Strong Women

A national women's march was held today to promote or protest something.....I'm not quite sure what that something was exactly (see the previous post), but I did notice people carrying signs and wearing T-shirts with quotes extolling the strength of women.  I'm all for strong women - physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, etc.

Then I considered that I'm a lot stronger now than I was back in 20s and early 30s as a competitive runner.  How can that be given how much older I am now and how our muscles begin to atrophy over the age of 40?

So what makes a woman stronger?

Physically, my strength gains were the result of suffering, loss, and a lot of hard work.  Two major car wrecks during my 20s, which left the EMTs telling me my survival was nothing short of miraculous, did some serious damage to my spine, but I did not realize it at the time.  Spinal discs usually have to be at least 90% compressed before pain signals a problem, so I kept running extensively.  Then two pregnancies that involved carrying average sized babies on narrow hips and crisis deliveries that nearly took the lives of my children finished off the disc compression. I was left with severe and chronic back pain and scar tissue throughout my body.  My running days were over, and my back, knees, and ankles were a mess, never to be the same again.

Both males and females grow stronger the same way.  They must put in lots of time, effort, and discipline as they push back against resistance to break down their current muscles and then build them back stronger than before. Part of my rehabilitation involved resistance training.   With paint relief as a powerful motivator, I strengthened my body and escaped the chronic pain that had tormented me for the previous seven years. Before long, I could do 20-30 pull-ups without an assist or a break and plyo-, clap-, and one-armed push-ups, none of which I could do before the wrecks during the prime of my youth.

Academically, I faced a different kind of resistance because of my gender.  In engineering school, men outnumbered women six to one.  I remember struggling in the courses that require exceptional visual-spatial intelligence, partly because I did not play with Legos, building blocks, or other toys that build this type of intelligence as a child as most boys do.  I encountered professors and students who stereotyped me as being unsuited for engineering because I was female, but back then, women received no special breaks because of their gender.  They had to work as hard (or harder) than all the guys.  When I met resistance, I pushed back, and I grew stronger as a result. I graduated at the top of my engineering class.  Since I was given no favors by professors or administrators fearful of law suits, I graduated with confidence knowing that I had competed against all the other students on equal grounds.

Professionally, I do not have the stereotypical engineer's personality.  I remember lots of surprised comments by male executives who had met me outside of work hours and assumed I worked in sales or communications.  I enjoyed the opportunity and challenge of proving myself to them.  It was an amusing game for me that also made me stronger.

Emotionally and spiritually, I have grown stronger by taking risks.  Giving up a career to stay home with one's children (and in my case I even homeschooled them for a few years) feels like a total loss of identity for many and was a risk I assumed would end my career in a fast paced technical field forever, but when our strength comes from within and is based on who we are instead of what we do, taking those risks only makes us stronger. I am back at work today part-time in a consultant role that provides more flexibility and enjoyment than any high ladder job title I may have attained had I never left.  My faith was strengthened with each step I took outside of my comfort zone to follow His leading.

Building spiritual strength also requires us to open ourselves to the truth of our own fallen condition, allowing God to show us the depths of our sin. 

 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.  (Psalm 139:23-24)

This awareness should then humble us and break us, like the physical breaking down of muscle tissue during resistance training, and bring us to repentance where God can then restore and rebuild us stronger than before.  King David expressed his personal experience with this process in Psalm 51.

1Have mercy on me, O God,
    according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
    blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity
    and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight;
so you are right in your verdict
    and justified when you judge....

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
    wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins
    and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

I reference this spiritual metaphor to emphasize a key point.  Our strength does not come from our government, employers, coworkers, professors, spouse, children, family or friends. Our strength comes from the Lord, and the processes used to strengthen us involve resistance, hard work, patience, sometimes pain and suffering, risks, and faith.

  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  (Philippians 4:13) 

The strength God gives is placed within us and flows out from the soul.  We do not suddenly become stronger because we force others to declare, "You are a woman, so you are strong" and insist that they bow to all our other demands as well.

Gender quotas do not make us stronger.  We certainly don't develop professional muscles by loafing within legally imposed gender protections which enable us to do everything wrong or nothing at all on the job or in the classroom without getting fired or expelled. If you are a woman with Latino (or other minority ethnicity) descent who is involved in the occult (or any belief system except Christianity) and identifies as LGBTQ, then there is virtually nothing you could do to get fired, while white males are dismissed without notice simply because their employer found someone else they liked better who might shake things up a bit. We grow stronger and more confident by competing on equal grounds, not by receiving preferential treatment.  EEO laws may help get protected classes in the door, but they do not help them grow professionally, for there is little to no incentive to work, much less improve

We don't become stronger by demanding government funded birth control.  We become stronger by taking personal responsibility for our own bodies and finding the courage and self-control to say no to activities that will naturally result in unwanted pregnancy or by managing birth control ourselves, whether we use free methods like natural family planning or purchase birth control products at a price less than the cost of each sign those women carried at the Inauguration 2017 women's march.

Should a woman still end of up in crisis pregnancy situation, then she will become stronger by accepting and even celebrating that life while resisting the public pressure and demeaning lies (such as "you are too weak or poor to care for baby, and you have no other options") of the abortion clinic workers and carrying that child to term.  I know hundreds of women who have made that choice to birth their children in less than ideal conditions (some of whom were rape victims) and against the pressure of their family and loved ones, yet not one regrets her decision to bring that child into the world alive.  They are among the strongest women I know.

We become stronger each time we stand up for truth and righteousness in a culture that despises both and persecutes all who disagree with the new social order.

We grow stronger each time we risk hearing our children tell us they hate us to discipline them out of pure love and with eyes fixed on their long term gain.

We are strengthened each time we refrain from saying what we feel like saying out of a desire to build others up instead of tearing them down.

We are strengthened with each battle we fight - whether against cancer or other illness, financial hardship, natural disaster, injustice, betrayal by those closest to us, or death of our dearest loved ones.

We are strengthened with each risk taken to benefit another, each sacrifice made to serve our families, each word of ridicule cast upon us because we did not cave to peer pressure, and each humble prayer offered on our knees in confession, thanksgiving, supplication, and authentic praise.

We are strong because we have faced resistance and overcome, not because we manipulated all of society into removing each and every obstacle in our path.

We are strong because He who is in us is greater than anyone who is in the world, and by Him, we have and will continue to overcome. (1 John 4:4)

January 2017 Women's March

What exactly is the women's march protesting?

It couldn't be foul comments Trump made over a decade ago because they didn't seem to mind when Bill Clinton was actually DOING the very same things Trump merely mentioned and worse while still in office.

It couldn't be Trump's foul mouth because Lena Dunham, feminist spokesperson who sexually abused her sister and regularly abuses the public by showing off her privates, says FAR worse to bring out the most carnal nature of both men and women.

It couldn't be a march for women's basic human rights because they celebrate the fact that at least 32,000,000 women have been denied the right to live in an excruciating, barbaric manner through abortion. 

It couldn't be concerns over financial support for moms because the plan Ivanka put forth benefits all mothers in the workplace and those working hard to raise respectable children at home.

It couldn't be suppression of women because they have voiced their support for Islamic extremists who bind and hide their wives in burkas and do not allow them to go out into public, speak out, receive proper education, or live in any way as they please so they can focus only on bowing down to their oppressive masters whose militias take women as sex slaves during their violent conquests.

It couldn't be a march for gay rights because they oppose those who want to to wipe out ISIS - the group that inspired the killing of 49 members of the gay community in just one attack in Orlando.

It couldn't be a march for tolerance because they have little to no tolerance for white males, Christians, or conservatives who are persecuted on a regular basis by groups they support here in America. 

What exactly has them so upset, and what will this march accomplish?  I appreciate the efforts to keep it peaceful, though, so kudos for that.

Postmodern Paradoxes: When Modern Feminism Subjugates Women and Opposition to Racism Escalates Racial Violence

What I’m about to share could apply to race, ethnicity, gender identity, occupation, sexual preference, or any other category of potential discrimination, but as a woman in every sense of the word, I’ll try to focus on women’s issues from a female’s perspective.

I'm not sure how to put this politely, but I'm convinced that the modern progressive “feminist” movement is negatively impacting women’s lives and damaging our country.  

[I would like to address these feminists in the second person. When I use any form of "you", I'm referencing radical adherents of this movement.  First person plural ("us", "we", "our", etc.) is used to refer to women in general, including myself.]

When you manipulate the law to force voters, businesses, and governments to choose us, pay us, reward us, and grant us immunity based on our sex instead of on our character, ability, effort, and/or actual achievements, you destroy women’s confidence, robbing us of self-dignity and the satisfaction of earning our position, reward, or impact on society through hard work, perseverance, and faith.  When you point out our gender or our race instead of drawing attention to our person, our character, or our work, you steal our joy and motivation to set and pursue high goals for ourselves and for each other.  You also build resentment between men and women, making it more difficult to work together to achieve synergy and to build consensus, much less collaborate and innovate. Your laws erode efficiency, crush our economy, waste resources, and reduce incentives for workers to strive harder or to continuously improve (reference California’s failed Fair Pay Act which Hillary Clinton wants to use a model for the entire country as one would only find in the most tyrannical, socialistic countries).

Stop treating women like babies who cannot pave their own way, compete fairly, or achieve their goals without political pandering. We don’t want or need your props. Give us equal (not privileged) opportunity to become the full expression of who God intended us to be as women without denying the clear and beautiful differences between men and women that make us so complementary for the greater good.

Stop wasting valuable resources on slimy lawsuits that make men fear and avoid us. Just as school bullies reveal their own personal insecurities when they tear someone else down, you demoralize women with your bully tactics that demasculinize men in a flawed attempt to make women appear stronger. It doesn’t work. They say “behind every strong man is a strong woman”, but the truth is that those with true strength of character seek to build others up without regard to any of the biological or mental health factors referenced when accusing someone of bigotry.

The Bible teaches us to love our enemies and to repay evil with good (Matthew 5, Luke 6). Laws intended to reverse discrimination are examples of repaying evil with evil. When governments allow or even encourage Black Lives Matter zealots to return an act of racism with far more bloody murders of police officers who had nothing to do with the initial injustice, evil is repaid with escalated evil.  Hatred and murder will increase until love pushes back hate.  The idea that good conquers evil or that love overcomes hate was a constant theme in Martin Luther King Jr.'s speeches.  The Civil Rights movement of the 20th century did just that, winning equal rights for women and citizens of color. The successes of the Civil Rights movement are to be regarded highly and protected carefully.

However, as C.S. Lewis wrote, “[The devil] always sends errors into the world in pairs—pairs of opposites… He relies on your extra dislike of the one to draw you gradually into the opposite one. But do not let us be fooled.” The modern version of the feminist movement has pushed our culture over to the deep end on the opposite side, creating a new bigotry that could eventually become as bad as the first. Just as racism and sexism led people to withhold the right to vote from blacks and women, racism and sexism lead voters to choose a candidate or employee simply because that candidate fits into one of these “protected classes” without considering their actual job qualifications.

When race, color, gender, gender identity, sexual preference, and all the other classes I'm forgetting from the diversity unicorn are the only considerations, unqualified candidates are elevated into positions of responsibility they are not ready or equipped to handle effectively. Consider Katherine Archuleta who was selected as the Director of the OPM largely because she was a Latino female, the first for this office. Her unwillingness to respond to system security warnings and her inept management skills resulted in the largest and most dangerous security breach up until that time, involving the theft of over 22 million American’s most confidential personal information. Such epic failure in managing national security information was only recently topped by Hillary Clinton with her mishandling of top secret and classified emails. Despite Hillary’s long list of felonies and epic failures of Benghazi sized magnitude, many voters still chose her as the first woman to represent a major party for the presidential election simply because she was female. She has even touted her gender as a primary qualification for the presidency as if that should matter at all. Obama won many votes not based on merit or ability but because he was father was African. Americans have suffered greatly under these three leaders who have brought shame on the genders and races they represent.  I want someone with integrity, proven ability, and dignity to represent women. It is better to wait for a good representative than to settle for an inept and/or corrupt one.

Give us equal opportunity, not easy access to positions we do not deserve. If we are to continuously improve, we need natural consequences and obstacles in our path to refine us and make us stronger.

³ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, (Romans 5: 3-4)

When you remove those obstacles, you impede us from developing the character, grit, confidence, integrity, perseverance, and drive required to make meaningful contributions as both leaders and servants to our communities and country, representing our gender well, with courage, character, and integrity.

"Count it all joy...when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 2: 2-4)

If you want men to respect women, try doing something thoughtful or speaking intellectually to keep others focused on your heart, spirit, and mind instead of dressing immodestly so as to draw attention to your body (shout out to Lena Dunham and Kim Kardashian who post nude photos/video whenever they feel lonely or want more attention).  Stop whining and blaming men for all the troubles you bring on yourself. We know a tree by its fruit. If you act like a spoiled, entitled brat or a shallow, fragile snowflake, you probably are, and by displaying yourself in that manner, you objectify women in the eyes of men while demeaning women who carry themselves with dignity and honor.

Fake feminists create micro-aggression movements and then try to feel offended by them.  They file petty lawsuits, make excuses, and place unreasonable demands upon others. True feminists value women and femininity while also encouraging and building up the men in their lives. They see themselves as God sees them, uniquely gifted for a divine purpose with equal standing before the Lord as men have but with different but equally valuable roles. A virtuous woman (see Proverbs 31) develops and uses the strengths God has given her for the benefit of others. She filters feedback from others, absorbing the truth while letting the misguided opinions of others roll right off of her. She faces challenges with courage and determination, accepts responsibility for herself and for those entrusted into her care, and makes a lasting impact in this world and for the kingdom to come.