23 "And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. 24 By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it" (Revelation 21:23-24, ESV)
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Sunset
There isn't much on this earth that makes me feel as close to God
or as compelled to worship as an evening sunset.
Yet, there will be no sunsets in Heaven. At
first that thought made me sad, but if this dim reflection of His glory
has such a powerful effect on me, I can only imagine how wonderful,
beautiful and marvelous it will be to stand forever in His presence and
radiant glory.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Trying to stand upright in an upside down world
America is surely
more divided than it has ever been before in my lifetime. We are all so angry and
rightfully so. The media is so biased no one knows what to believe
anymore, but whatever is published seeks to inspire anger, hatred,
bitterness, and division.
Government accountability is missing, and the system of checks and balances is defunct. Sanctuary cities and all branches of power seem to be picking and choosing which laws they will and will not obey which begets widespread lawlessness.
Unarmed military personnel have been slaughtered by domestic terrorists as predicted by authorities, so now armed citizens are giving their time to stand guard over unarmed "armed forces" who were the ones employed to protect citizens in the first place!
Women and children are still trafficked like slaves right here in America and at an increasing rate as the pornography industry continues to trespass into hearts and homes taking captive unsuspecting and vulnerable internet users with the result of wrecking families while increasing the lust for more perverse and more frequent abuses of women and minors.
Babies are butchered and then sold in parts on the black market by an organization established by a racist eugenicist and funded by taxpayer dollars against the wishes of the majority of taxpayers. Now the administration is pushing to pull federal grants from groups trying to help trafficked women if they do not push abortions on these women when anyone who has worked with victims of rape or trafficking knows that forcing an abortion is a double violation of the woman whereas giving birth helps bring her victory and healing.
Some extreme groups are parading virtually naked in public while wiping their rear ends with the American flag or with the pages of Scripture, for it is now politically correct in America to hate both God and America.
The dignity of human life is disregarded as postmodernism & moral relativism have become pervasive. So unstable, hurting, young people feel justified in shooting praying saints in church or innocent children in gun free schools.
America has abandoned her allies and shacked up with the world's worst enemies and put the entire world at greater risk of nuclear war.
Many of us want to cry from the mountaintops, "STOP IT!" But if all we do is cast insults at one another out of our own personal hurts or speak the truth with stinging words, forgetting there is a soul behind that electronic screen, then we only make the situation worse. We cry ourselves to sleep over the oppressive evil all over the world and want so much to make a difference, but words are silenced and positive actions don't seem to get far in a broken democratic republic. So where do we turn? How do we stand upright in a world that has turned upside down? How do we reverse a backwards, topsy turvy culture?
King David turned to God, pouring out his heart with shocking honesty. He did not mince his words, either. He begged for God's judgment to fall on his enemies, for he was desperate, weary, surrounded and outnumbered, despairing and afraid. These emotional rants are recorded in the psalms, but they almost always end with praise because prayer leads us to acknowledge God for who He is. Prayer helps us see His power, goodness and love. It reminds us that He is still sovereign over all these things. So instead of slaying one another with our words (speaking to myself here), let us cry out to God, look to Him, confess, intercede, and worship.
Government accountability is missing, and the system of checks and balances is defunct. Sanctuary cities and all branches of power seem to be picking and choosing which laws they will and will not obey which begets widespread lawlessness.
Unarmed military personnel have been slaughtered by domestic terrorists as predicted by authorities, so now armed citizens are giving their time to stand guard over unarmed "armed forces" who were the ones employed to protect citizens in the first place!
Women and children are still trafficked like slaves right here in America and at an increasing rate as the pornography industry continues to trespass into hearts and homes taking captive unsuspecting and vulnerable internet users with the result of wrecking families while increasing the lust for more perverse and more frequent abuses of women and minors.
Babies are butchered and then sold in parts on the black market by an organization established by a racist eugenicist and funded by taxpayer dollars against the wishes of the majority of taxpayers. Now the administration is pushing to pull federal grants from groups trying to help trafficked women if they do not push abortions on these women when anyone who has worked with victims of rape or trafficking knows that forcing an abortion is a double violation of the woman whereas giving birth helps bring her victory and healing.
Some extreme groups are parading virtually naked in public while wiping their rear ends with the American flag or with the pages of Scripture, for it is now politically correct in America to hate both God and America.
The dignity of human life is disregarded as postmodernism & moral relativism have become pervasive. So unstable, hurting, young people feel justified in shooting praying saints in church or innocent children in gun free schools.
America has abandoned her allies and shacked up with the world's worst enemies and put the entire world at greater risk of nuclear war.
Many of us want to cry from the mountaintops, "STOP IT!" But if all we do is cast insults at one another out of our own personal hurts or speak the truth with stinging words, forgetting there is a soul behind that electronic screen, then we only make the situation worse. We cry ourselves to sleep over the oppressive evil all over the world and want so much to make a difference, but words are silenced and positive actions don't seem to get far in a broken democratic republic. So where do we turn? How do we stand upright in a world that has turned upside down? How do we reverse a backwards, topsy turvy culture?
King David turned to God, pouring out his heart with shocking honesty. He did not mince his words, either. He begged for God's judgment to fall on his enemies, for he was desperate, weary, surrounded and outnumbered, despairing and afraid. These emotional rants are recorded in the psalms, but they almost always end with praise because prayer leads us to acknowledge God for who He is. Prayer helps us see His power, goodness and love. It reminds us that He is still sovereign over all these things. So instead of slaying one another with our words (speaking to myself here), let us cry out to God, look to Him, confess, intercede, and worship.
4For you are not a God who delights in wickedness;
evil may not dwell with you.
5 The boastful shall not stand before your eyes;
you hate all evildoers.
6 You destroy those who speak lies;
the Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.
7 But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love,
will enter your house.
I will bow down toward your holy temple
in the fear of you.
8 Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness
because of my enemies;
make your way straight before me.
*Note: This psalm was written before Christ's righteousness was imputed on those who believe and trust through HIS work (not ours) on the cross. We can only have hope b/c of the completed work of Christ on the cross11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
let them ever sing for joy,
and spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may exult in you.
12 For you bless the righteous, O Lord;
you cover him with favor as with a shield. (Psalm 5, ESV)
Monday, July 20, 2015
Prayers for America
"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
Our nation needs prayer like never before. It's hard to know what to pray sometimes, so I've been seeking prayers from some of our earliest founders or influencers as a guide. But these prayers require a great deal of faith. For our country has grown and the power of our government has expanded exceedingly. As history has taught us again and again since history began, power corrupts, so the greater one's power, the greater the corruption. As the system of checks and balances established in the U.S. Constitution becomes more and more unbalanced with the judicial and executive branches making laws while the legislative branch writes laws to give up some of their power and in a government where deals are made behind closed doors and money passed to skew votes, it's all one murky, corrupt mess. Dare we pray the prayers for our forefathers? Are we too far past the point of no return? Are we in a season of judgment in which God has removed His hand from us?
The ways and plans of God are beyond our ability to understand. But He commands us to confess our sins and to pray, so pray we must!
 |
| John Locke |
 |
| John Adams |
to his wife:
"Pray Heaven to bestow the best of blessing on this house and on all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof."
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Encouragement for Moms from Exodus 2
23 “By faith Moses, when he was
born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw he was a
beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.” (Hebrews 11:23)
No
matter how intensely the Egyptian taskmasters abused the Hebrew slaves, the
Hebrews continued to flourish in number. (Exodus 1)
Fearful of a Hebrew uprising, Egypt’s pagan Pharaoh commanded that all
male infants born into Hebrew families be drowned in the Nile. Then a son was born into a Levite family who believed
in the one true God. At the risk of greatly
endangering the entire family, the boy’s mother, Jochebed, hid Moses for three
months. Then Jochebed reached a crisis
point. Her tender heart was profoundly attached to
Moses, yet even her “mama bear” instincts could not keep him hidden any longer.
My birth mother had a taste of Jochebed’s
helpless dilemma. At age 19, she had
just given birth to me, yet she was unemployed and homeless. Her father evicted
her out upon learning of her unwed pregnancy, and her mother was exceedingly
abusive, both physically and verbally.
My birth father abandoned us, so she struggled to provide for me the best
she could over the next nine months. She
lived with friends and made do with what she had, even using a dresser drawer
as my crib (shown in the picture). Her
mother eventually offered her safe shelter and provisions, but the abuse
resumed, this time for both of us. She
fled again, completely helpless to protect me, and faced a legal battle against
her mother for my custody.
At
Jochebed’s crisis point, the same faith that gave her the courage to hide Moses
also instructed her on what to do next.
She must have recounted the story of how an ark kept Noah’s family from
drowning in the great flood and then trusted that an ark could also save her
son from drowning in the Nile.
“By faith Noah,
being warned by God about
things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his
household …”
(Hebrews 11: 7a, NASB)
So, “…she got him a papyrus basket [same
Hebrew word used for Noah’s ark] and covered it over with tar and pitch. Then
she put the child into it and set it
among the reeds by the bank of the Nile.” (Exodus 2:3)
Jochebed rendered obedience to Pharaoh by placing Moses in
the river, and she also exhibited great faith as she released her precious
child into God's complete care. In so doing, a profound truth
became apparent. We are never safer than
when we seem completely helpless and alone, for when He is all we have, He is all
the more present with us. (Psalm 46:1, Psalm
91:9, Matthew 28:20, 2 Peter 1:12)
God’s plan for Moses far surpasses anything
his biological parents could have imagined.
God steered the ark straight to Pharaoh’s daughter at just the right
time and softened her heart to pity the child who was obviously Hebrew (based on his circumcision) and thus despised by her father and her culture. But just as God would make a way through the
Red Sea for Moses to lead the people out of Egypt, God made a way for Moses to
be adopted into the enemy’s family. But
first God gave Moses back to his biological family for a season by prompting
Pharaoh’s daughter to pay Jochebed to nurse Moses. There he would become a revenue source for
his family while being introduced to his heritage and to faith in God before being
returned to the home of the pagan Egyptian ruler. God’s marvelous redemptive plan to deliver
His people began with a mother placing her total trust in the God of Abraham.
When my birth mother reached her crisis
point, she clung to what little faith and courage she had to release me into
God’s care through adoption. She trusted
God to give me a better life than she could ever provide. God honored her simple faith in things not
seen (Hebrews 11:1) and protected me in ways far greater than her best hopes.
We mothers all face crisis points in which
we must acknowledge our own powerlessness over the welfare of our children. Parents of children who suffer serious
illness or injury feel helpless as they wait in the NICU for word from the
medical team. Parents may feel similar
pangs when they send their sons and daughters out of their protective watch and
off to college or overseas on missions trips.
As America continues its accelerating
descent into the immoral abyss and as the government, schools, media, and
popular culture preach a worldview that denies and blasphemes God, parents may
be tempted to lose hope as it seems the voices of the family and church are drowned
out by the world. Like Jochebed, however,
we must not fear!
Daily,
we must weave a protective basket of faith, truth, love, and grace around our
children by teaching them all of God’s word. By modeling a life of trust,
prayer, and courage and by proclaiming God’s great works, we strengthen the
bulrushes framing the ark. When we
encourage accountability and remain engaged in a Bible based church, we waterproof
the ark of faith to deflect the lies of the world. When we prayerfully lead them toward
salvation, loving them and repeatedly sharing the gospel with them, their
commitment to Christ invites the Holy Spirit into their hearts as a seal which
protects them from the harsh waves of the world.
Then
when we release our children into the rivers of this dark and deadly world, we
ultimately must trust God alone to protect them while acknowledging that God
placed them here at this time for a purpose.
We must let go and let God shine His light brightly through them as they
travel down the river, bearing fruit as the go.
It may seem that they may drown, but as we keep praying and loving them,
we realize that the ark holding each of them is the hand of God, and no one can
snatch them out of God’s hand. (John 10:29)
Originally written for pray.org
Addendum
When reading this passage again this time, I noticed for the first time that Moses' father is only mentioned at
the very beginning regarding Moses's conception, but the rest of the story only
mentions his mother. It's as if the passage is saying, "Hello,
Moms! I see you stuck at home doing the daily grind of parenting.
God notices every single one of your sacrifices, and your faith and your devotion matter
far more than you may realize!" Or maybe that's just what I
needed to hear in this season of parenting. Moses's mother hid him. His mother got the ark and coated it with
tar. His mother set him in the river. His mother nursed him, taught him, and raised him until he was returned to the palace. Where was Amran when all these life threatening decisions were being made? I'm guessing he was not intentionally neglecting his duties at home but was off
with the slave gang, working himself to the bone and being beat to a
pulp. Those were horrific, bitter times for the Jews.
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Our Love Story (Part 9): Full Circle
(Last installment of the story that begins here)
This last installment of our love story series will end where it began. It seems appropriate to conclude the series at the wedding altar with the exchanging of wedding rings, each of which form a full circle. Circular wedding bands have no endpoint just as the love of God is lavished upon us is without end. Similarly, through earthly marriage, we are to illustrate God's love and commitment toward His people by living out our marriage vows faithfully and unconditionally without ceasing while we remain on earth.
Engagement
We spent our engagement period preparing for the wedding and most importantly, preparing for marriage. We are so thankful for the 14-week marriage training class offered by our church. Americans typically spend between 2 and 10 years in college preparing for careers that will change five to seven times on average during their working years. Yet, most couples spend no time preparing for the lifelong commitment of marriage. Those 14 weeks pale in comparison to each of our 6+ years of college career preparation, but we certainly did learn a lot about one another during that time. We were shocked by how completely different we are in so many areas. We did not score high on the compatibility test at all, so we used that time to work through those differences and to learn how those differences can make our marriage stronger if we are willing to celebrate them instead of letting them tear us apart. After the marriage preparation class, we were paired up with a mentor couple who had similar personalities and compatibility profiles as our own. They met with us regularly during our first year of marriage to help us begin our life together on the best footing possible. We are so grateful for their investment into our marriage.
After working through the difficult parts of that marriage preparation course, I began to have some doubts. A lifetime commitment to one person must be taken very seriously, so I wrestled in my heart to make sure I was ready for such a permanent commitment. We both spent much time on our knees during that preparation period.
An especially tender moment during the wedding occurred after I had walked up to the altar but before we said our vows and exchanged our rings. The pastor reminded the crowd that DC sang with the USNA Glee club in that same spot near the altar over nine years ago during the weekend we first met as described in part 1 of this series. Then he gave DC the microphone, and DC sweetly sang the song, "If You Could See What I See" by Geoff Moore and the Distance. DC held it together quite well during the song until I whispered the words, "I love you!" near the end of the song which made his voice quiver and my cheeks blush.
With that song, we have come full circle. I am now at
the end of this blog series, but it only marks the beginning of our lifelong
love story. Our love grows deeper and richer year after year as we keep Christ in the center of our marriage like a triangle with Christ at the top and each of us at each of the other two points. As we look to Christ and move closer to Him, we draw closer to one another. (Ecclesiastes 4:12) We are forever grateful to the Lord for writing our love story.
This last installment of our love story series will end where it began. It seems appropriate to conclude the series at the wedding altar with the exchanging of wedding rings, each of which form a full circle. Circular wedding bands have no endpoint just as the love of God is lavished upon us is without end. Similarly, through earthly marriage, we are to illustrate God's love and commitment toward His people by living out our marriage vows faithfully and unconditionally without ceasing while we remain on earth.
Engagement
We spent our engagement period preparing for the wedding and most importantly, preparing for marriage. We are so thankful for the 14-week marriage training class offered by our church. Americans typically spend between 2 and 10 years in college preparing for careers that will change five to seven times on average during their working years. Yet, most couples spend no time preparing for the lifelong commitment of marriage. Those 14 weeks pale in comparison to each of our 6+ years of college career preparation, but we certainly did learn a lot about one another during that time. We were shocked by how completely different we are in so many areas. We did not score high on the compatibility test at all, so we used that time to work through those differences and to learn how those differences can make our marriage stronger if we are willing to celebrate them instead of letting them tear us apart. After the marriage preparation class, we were paired up with a mentor couple who had similar personalities and compatibility profiles as our own. They met with us regularly during our first year of marriage to help us begin our life together on the best footing possible. We are so grateful for their investment into our marriage.
After working through the difficult parts of that marriage preparation course, I began to have some doubts. A lifetime commitment to one person must be taken very seriously, so I wrestled in my heart to make sure I was ready for such a permanent commitment. We both spent much time on our knees during that preparation period.
When the day of the wedding came, all doubts had been
vanquished. I have struggled with insomnia my entire life and especially
have trouble sleeping before exciting new or big events. Yet, the night before
the wedding, I slept soundly because my heart was at peace.
Wedding Day
DC and I had planned to pray
together right before the wedding. Since it was considered taboo to see each other right before the wedding, he called me on my cell phone while I was in the bridal
room. I was in my dress by that point, but I still knelt down on the
floor, surprisingly without any concern over how dirty my dress might become, so we could pray together, asking that God would be glorified
during our wedding. Too often, weddings are all about the couple getting
married with little attention given to the Creator of marriage. God had
worked miraculously in our lives to bring us together. We knew our
marriage was intended to point people to Christ, so we prayed for His glory to
shine throughout the wedding and our marriage. Wedding Day
“'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.' (Ephesians 5:31-32)The wedding went smoothly, and my home church pastor invested much thought and prayer into making our wedding a worship service as we had requested. He could not have delivered a more perfect message. My favorite musicians played. A gifted soloist and longtime family friend sang, and over 300 people in attendance stood to sing songs of worship with us. It was glorious!
An especially tender moment during the wedding occurred after I had walked up to the altar but before we said our vows and exchanged our rings. The pastor reminded the crowd that DC sang with the USNA Glee club in that same spot near the altar over nine years ago during the weekend we first met as described in part 1 of this series. Then he gave DC the microphone, and DC sweetly sang the song, "If You Could See What I See" by Geoff Moore and the Distance. DC held it together quite well during the song until I whispered the words, "I love you!" near the end of the song which made his voice quiver and my cheeks blush.
 |
| DC singing during our wedding |
Life Lessons
- Make Biblical marriage counseling and preparation a priority before marriage. Not only will it help prevent much turmoil and pain, it very well may save your marriage.
- Acknowledge that marriage was intended to paint a picture of Christ's relationship with his bride, the church. Love and respect each other as Christ loves the church.
(Revelation 19:7)
- The best way to maintain a healthy marriage is to keep Christ in the center of it. Pray, study God's word, and worship Him together. Seek the Lord together for every family decision.
Friday, July 10, 2015
Our Love Story (Part 8): Counting the Costs
(Continuation of the story that
starts here)
I immediately noticed that the company's expenses far exceeded revenues, yet the start-up continued to add employees after me. I did not have enough authority to do anything about the red numbers and was dumbfounded by the extravagant Christmas party the company threw at the end of the year. Three months after my start date, I came to work to find an armed security guard at the front door. Within the next two hours, 80% of the company's workforce had been laid off, including me. That company shut down completely over the next two months.
I drove to DC's apartment after the layoff feeling utterly confused. My house had not sold yet, so I still had mortgage payments to make. I had given up a job I loved where I had so much opportunity for growth and promotion. I had given up graduate school with plans to transfer those credits to a university near DC's work, but that university would not accept the credits and wanted me to start over. I had invested countless hours of study and classroom time into that degree, and it now all seemed wasted. I had left my closest friends and my church family.
DC prayed with me and promised to provide for me with the resources God would give him. This new path I had taken would require a loss of my own stubborn independence. God was preparing me for the submission, sacrifice and extra faith that a healthy marriage requires.
The following weekend, I received an offer on my house which meant that my mortgage payments ended at the same time I stopped receiving a pay check. God was so gracious to tangibly show me I can trust Him to provide for me when life takes an unexpected turn.
My old bedroom at Mom and Dad's house became my base of operations for wedding planning and job searching. Within a few weeks, I had found a new job much closer to the house DC and I were building. Since I would be working too far from Mom and Dad's house, the new company provided me with temporary housing until we closed on our new house. I moved into the new house at the end of April, and DC joined me after our wedding in June.
The new job location was ideal, and the work was enjoyable. That job gave me many opportunities to gain new skills without all the stress I experienced at the start-up. It also provided me with a slight pay increase that offset the income I had lost during the lay-off period almost exactly. It was as if God had given me six weeks of paid leave to plan our wedding. With a start date in early April, I would not have accrued enough vacation for our prepaid honeymoon in June, but the company even gave me an advance on my vacation. Everything had fallen into place.
I also gave up competitive running after DC and I got engaged since it took too much time away from him. I have only run one race in all our years of marriage. Giving up racing wasn't nearly as difficult as I had imagined it might be, for my priorities had changed.
Life Lessons
"For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?" (Luke 14:28)After the trip to meet DC's family, I was ready to commit to him no matter what the cost. However, just as the man in the parable of the hidden treasure sold everything he had to buy the field where his treasure was hidden, I knew that life's greatest treasures are costly.
“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." (Matthew 13:44)
DC began his new job in June and drove almost five hours
each way to see me during many of the weekends that followed. Sometimes,
I would drive up to meet him at my parents' home. When I came to see him,
we attended the church I had attended in college that had meant so much to me
during those formative years. DC joined the choir and praise team, and whenever
I would see him singing on stage, I would remember that first weekend we met
and get goosebumps.
DC knew that I believed it was prudent to date for at least a full year before getting engaged so as to see one another in all seasons and to make sure what we were seeing in each other was genuine and not a false pretense. However, he also knew that we would remain many hours apart until he placed a ring on my finger. The long drives and the grueling weeks spent apart were becoming harder to endure.
Late one summer evening, DC arrived at my house unexpectedly. Tired from an exhausting work week and donning no makeup, I got home from a friend's house just in time for him to ring the doorbell. He wasted no time with idle chitchat. He handed me a big box of Godiva chocolates. I wasn't hungry, so I set the box aside, but he urged me take at least one piece. I had been struggling with insomnia and insisted that I should not have any chocolate so late in the evening. Then he got down on both knees, so I knew I just had to open the box! Inside, I found an oval shaped diamond we had both admired while window shopping during our last weekend spent together in my parents' home town. The date was July 29. We had only been dating for a little over two months since he came to visit for the first time in over eight years. So after my initial shock, I accepted his proposal. And then rose petals dropped from the sky as a choir sang the Hallelujah Chorus.
Okay, so that last sentence may be a bit of an embellishment!
I was so surprised that I didn't think to take any photos of that special moment. We tried to set a wedding date for early the following year, but we ended up postponing our date to June 9 to better accommodate his family members' schedules.
When DC returned to his apartment, be began cleaning out boxes from his recent move. He came across a letter (see part 4) I had written to him a few months after our break-up. I had concluded the letter with these words, "If only we could have met nine years later." We found it interesting that we would be getting married nine years after we first met. God knew how our story would end when I wrote that letter so long ago.
After lots of rejoicing and announcing our news, I began making some tough decisions. I had never been a quitter. Yet, after our engagement, I dropped my seminary class and withdrew from graduate school where I was working towards an MBA. I began looking for jobs near DC's home and put a "for sale" sign in my yard. I found a job with a start-up tech company that seemed ideal during the dot.com boom. It was an exciting, albeit risky, opportunity in the technology industry. So I quit my job in the fall and dropped the big project that would have launched my career into an exciting new direction.
DC knew that I believed it was prudent to date for at least a full year before getting engaged so as to see one another in all seasons and to make sure what we were seeing in each other was genuine and not a false pretense. However, he also knew that we would remain many hours apart until he placed a ring on my finger. The long drives and the grueling weeks spent apart were becoming harder to endure.
Late one summer evening, DC arrived at my house unexpectedly. Tired from an exhausting work week and donning no makeup, I got home from a friend's house just in time for him to ring the doorbell. He wasted no time with idle chitchat. He handed me a big box of Godiva chocolates. I wasn't hungry, so I set the box aside, but he urged me take at least one piece. I had been struggling with insomnia and insisted that I should not have any chocolate so late in the evening. Then he got down on both knees, so I knew I just had to open the box! Inside, I found an oval shaped diamond we had both admired while window shopping during our last weekend spent together in my parents' home town. The date was July 29. We had only been dating for a little over two months since he came to visit for the first time in over eight years. So after my initial shock, I accepted his proposal. And then rose petals dropped from the sky as a choir sang the Hallelujah Chorus.
Okay, so that last sentence may be a bit of an embellishment!
I was so surprised that I didn't think to take any photos of that special moment. We tried to set a wedding date for early the following year, but we ended up postponing our date to June 9 to better accommodate his family members' schedules.
When DC returned to his apartment, be began cleaning out boxes from his recent move. He came across a letter (see part 4) I had written to him a few months after our break-up. I had concluded the letter with these words, "If only we could have met nine years later." We found it interesting that we would be getting married nine years after we first met. God knew how our story would end when I wrote that letter so long ago.
After lots of rejoicing and announcing our news, I began making some tough decisions. I had never been a quitter. Yet, after our engagement, I dropped my seminary class and withdrew from graduate school where I was working towards an MBA. I began looking for jobs near DC's home and put a "for sale" sign in my yard. I found a job with a start-up tech company that seemed ideal during the dot.com boom. It was an exciting, albeit risky, opportunity in the technology industry. So I quit my job in the fall and dropped the big project that would have launched my career into an exciting new direction.
In
November of that same year, I moved in with my parents after having been on my
own for the past nine years (tTis relationship cost them too!) so that I could
start the new job. The new job was located halfway between my parents'
house and DC's rental house. My workdays were long and stressful, and the
traffic during commutes wore on my nerves. At least I was living only 90
minutes from DC and could see him more easily during the weekends.
I immediately noticed that the company's expenses far exceeded revenues, yet the start-up continued to add employees after me. I did not have enough authority to do anything about the red numbers and was dumbfounded by the extravagant Christmas party the company threw at the end of the year. Three months after my start date, I came to work to find an armed security guard at the front door. Within the next two hours, 80% of the company's workforce had been laid off, including me. That company shut down completely over the next two months.
I drove to DC's apartment after the layoff feeling utterly confused. My house had not sold yet, so I still had mortgage payments to make. I had given up a job I loved where I had so much opportunity for growth and promotion. I had given up graduate school with plans to transfer those credits to a university near DC's work, but that university would not accept the credits and wanted me to start over. I had invested countless hours of study and classroom time into that degree, and it now all seemed wasted. I had left my closest friends and my church family.
DC prayed with me and promised to provide for me with the resources God would give him. This new path I had taken would require a loss of my own stubborn independence. God was preparing me for the submission, sacrifice and extra faith that a healthy marriage requires.
The following weekend, I received an offer on my house which meant that my mortgage payments ended at the same time I stopped receiving a pay check. God was so gracious to tangibly show me I can trust Him to provide for me when life takes an unexpected turn.
My old bedroom at Mom and Dad's house became my base of operations for wedding planning and job searching. Within a few weeks, I had found a new job much closer to the house DC and I were building. Since I would be working too far from Mom and Dad's house, the new company provided me with temporary housing until we closed on our new house. I moved into the new house at the end of April, and DC joined me after our wedding in June.
The new job location was ideal, and the work was enjoyable. That job gave me many opportunities to gain new skills without all the stress I experienced at the start-up. It also provided me with a slight pay increase that offset the income I had lost during the lay-off period almost exactly. It was as if God had given me six weeks of paid leave to plan our wedding. With a start date in early April, I would not have accrued enough vacation for our prepaid honeymoon in June, but the company even gave me an advance on my vacation. Everything had fallen into place.
I also gave up competitive running after DC and I got engaged since it took too much time away from him. I have only run one race in all our years of marriage. Giving up racing wasn't nearly as difficult as I had imagined it might be, for my priorities had changed.
Life Lessons
- When God closes a door, a better one is usually about to open.
- Trust that God's treasures are always worth the costs.
- Trust God with every detail of your life. He is ultimately in control, and His plans are
far better than yours.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you." (Jeremiah 29:11-12)
Our Love Story (Part 7): Meet the Parents
(Continuation of the story that starts here)
DC and I had just had the most amazing weekend together and hoped our
relationship would actually go somewhere this time. After hearing "no" so many times over the past eight years, however, I was still hesitant about committing to a relationship with him. Over the next week, we emailed one another frequently. I had a business
trip scheduled the following week that would put me closer to his family. I could save my company considerable travel expense
if I waited until Monday to fly back home, so on Friday, I took a short flight in
a puddle jumper to the nearest airport to his parents' home. He had won my parents' favor
over eight years ago. Now I had the opportunity to spend the weekend
getting to know his family.
That trip to meet his parents was a huge catapult for our relationship. From marathon running to crisis pregnancy volunteer work, I shared much in common with his father and mother who immediately made me feel welcomed and accepted. An incident involving a truck full of stinky chicken feed may have embarrassed DC, but it was a blessing for me because it immediately took away any pressure I may have placed upon myself to win his family's favor. I was free then to simply focus on getting to know DC within the context of his family.
Despite the fact that DC had been away from home for most of the past nine years, he seemed incredibly close to his family, and I could tell that they go to great lengths to spend quality time together. His family welcomed me with wonderful kindness and hospitality. I could tell that they cared deeply for one another and for others. His brothers reminded me of my own brother with their fun hilarity. What struck me most during that trip was the way DC's father treated DC's mother and the way DC's married brother treated his wife. I then knew that DC came from a home where devotion to God, marriage, and family were modeled and valued. That trip sealed the deal for me. I was ready to commit to a relationship with DC no matter how wild the ride ahead may be.
That trip to meet his parents was a huge catapult for our relationship. From marathon running to crisis pregnancy volunteer work, I shared much in common with his father and mother who immediately made me feel welcomed and accepted. An incident involving a truck full of stinky chicken feed may have embarrassed DC, but it was a blessing for me because it immediately took away any pressure I may have placed upon myself to win his family's favor. I was free then to simply focus on getting to know DC within the context of his family.
Despite the fact that DC had been away from home for most of the past nine years, he seemed incredibly close to his family, and I could tell that they go to great lengths to spend quality time together. His family welcomed me with wonderful kindness and hospitality. I could tell that they cared deeply for one another and for others. His brothers reminded me of my own brother with their fun hilarity. What struck me most during that trip was the way DC's father treated DC's mother and the way DC's married brother treated his wife. I then knew that DC came from a home where devotion to God, marriage, and family were modeled and valued. That trip sealed the deal for me. I was ready to commit to a relationship with DC no matter how wild the ride ahead may be.
 |
| DC's family takes a wild ride together. |
Life Lesson
- Before committing to a serious relationship, prayerfully consider your partner's family and seek their approval of your relationship. While there are certainly exceptions, the odds of having a healthy and happy marriage are higher if you marry someone raised in a strong, loving family. A man often becomes like his father. The way his father treats his mother is indicative of how he will treat his wife. A man who respects his mother is more likely to respect his wife. The values modeled in his parents' home are often the same values he will uphold in his own home.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6 NASB)
To continue to part 8, click here.
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Our Love Story (Part 6): A Hint of Harlequin
While I expected DC to choose the job offer closest to his family, he chose the job closest to my family since he saw more growth potential in that particular industry. (That's his story anyway. His mom blames me for his decision to work and live so far from home.) I was thrilled that he would be closer to me, but he would still be living five hours away by car. I had worked really hard to establish myself. I was half-way through an MBA program and had up to two years left on a multi-million dollar project at work that would catapult my career, so I had no desire to move.
DC called to tell me that after finding an apartment near his new job, he might stop by "on his way" to his parents' house where he would spend the rest of his vacation before his new job began. I told him that would be fine but giggled to myself knowing that my house was actually several hours out of his way.
While I eagerly arranged for his accommodations, cleaned my house from top to bottom (baseboards, oven, blinds, everything!), and put together an itinerary, he continued his long drive through multiple states. Instead of listening to music during his drive as usual, he listened to the Lord. He prayed like never before, and God did some serious work in his heart that led him to renew his commitment to the Lord.
He spent three days in the beautiful city I called home, and our time together was perfectly magical. I gave him a city tour, and we dined at restaurants I knew he would enjoy most based on our time together eight years earlier. We went hiking through a gorgeous park and reclined along the rocks overlooking a pretty water fall where we enjoyed the mild spring weather and the peaceful sounds of the water tumbling over the rocks.
On Saturday, we
drove to a unique chapel built into the side of a mountain where the views are breathtaking. There we enjoyed a perfect picnic lunch.
DC went with me to church on Sunday. The worship touched his heart so much that tears welled up in his eyes. When I saw the moisture on his eyelids, my heart nearly beat out of my chest. He had changed, and I liked it!
During that weekend, we took long walks, enjoyed deep conversations, sang and played my piano, and thoroughly enjoyed just being together. We shared several romantic moments together that could have provided ideal opportunities for tender kisses and the substance of romance novels. However, DC honored me with the gift of self-control. I always wanted to marry a man who would respect me enough to wait instead of trying to take what did not belong to him.
I fell really hard for DC that weekend, and he knew it. We talked about a future together, but I was too dizzy in my own confusion to commit to a relationship. I did at least have enough sense to sneak a sappy note into a bag of cookies I sent with him as he departed for the long drive to his parents' home.
Life Lessons
DC called to tell me that after finding an apartment near his new job, he might stop by "on his way" to his parents' house where he would spend the rest of his vacation before his new job began. I told him that would be fine but giggled to myself knowing that my house was actually several hours out of his way.
While I eagerly arranged for his accommodations, cleaned my house from top to bottom (baseboards, oven, blinds, everything!), and put together an itinerary, he continued his long drive through multiple states. Instead of listening to music during his drive as usual, he listened to the Lord. He prayed like never before, and God did some serious work in his heart that led him to renew his commitment to the Lord.
He spent three days in the beautiful city I called home, and our time together was perfectly magical. I gave him a city tour, and we dined at restaurants I knew he would enjoy most based on our time together eight years earlier. We went hiking through a gorgeous park and reclined along the rocks overlooking a pretty water fall where we enjoyed the mild spring weather and the peaceful sounds of the water tumbling over the rocks.
During that weekend, we took long walks, enjoyed deep conversations, sang and played my piano, and thoroughly enjoyed just being together. We shared several romantic moments together that could have provided ideal opportunities for tender kisses and the substance of romance novels. However, DC honored me with the gift of self-control. I always wanted to marry a man who would respect me enough to wait instead of trying to take what did not belong to him.
I fell really hard for DC that weekend, and he knew it. We talked about a future together, but I was too dizzy in my own confusion to commit to a relationship. I did at least have enough sense to sneak a sappy note into a bag of cookies I sent with him as he departed for the long drive to his parents' home.
Life Lessons
- The longer the wait, the sweeter the reward. If we had pushed for this relationship in our own timing instead of waiting on God's, it would have been a disaster. After eight years apart, however, our reunion was better than anything we could have imagined. (Psalm 27:13-14)
- We must be transformed by God before we can fully experience His good and perfect will. God did not allow us to come back together until we had both been transformed by His grace and had sought the mind of Christ. (Romans 15:5)
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)
- Guard your physical purity as a priceless treasure. In a parable, Christ compared the Kingdom of Heaven to a valuable pearl. If someone sold everything he had to buy a fine pearl, he would handle that pearl very carefully. He would not allow others to mistreat it or cause it to break leaving shattered remnants all around. He would protect it and treasure it. No decent person would intentionally steal this pearl which the man sold everything to purchase. Similarly we must protect our purity, for our bodies belong to God who gave everything for us. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) Once a lifelong commitment is made through a covenant marriage, then and only then can our bodies be given for the full expression of érōs love. (1 Corinthians 7:4-5)
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it." (Matthew 13:45-46)
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